Life experience and its effects …
Last month I lost a cherished older brother. He had been in poor health a long time, so my other sibling and I worried about him constantly, even though he tended to minimize what was going on with him. While I was not prepared for the reality of losing a loved one, we managed to honor him with the full array of Greek Orthodox services, including a slide show reviewing his life at the funeral luncheon, a number of moving tributes to him at the microphone, and some wonderful and amusing stories we all enjoyed hearing — some for the first time. This all took place in San Francisco, 100 miles away from where I live, but where we all grew up.
Adulthood means losing parents midway through for most of us. But losing a sibling is another story. Siblings share our childhoods, our humor, our worries about our parents, and as we grow older, spend decades reminiscing with us. The impact of it, however, goes far beyond waves of tears that come and go. It can also affect one’s work.
Because of an entire month spent tending to my brother followed by laying him to rest, I had postponed recording a book I was working on for a local author. She and I had gotten together for a drink earlier in the month, where I learned she had experienced the loss of not one, but two brothers in her life. Somehow it made me feel less alone in all this. And of course, it helped that her deep understanding of a loss like this was not something that could be rushed. Deadlines were moved. Recording was put off.
About a week after returning home I perched myself atop my recording bar stool and began anew. As the narration and character voices emerged from me throughout chapter by short chapter of her very entertaining murder mystery book, however, something was different. My attention to her intent, a deeper understanding of her story line, and a playfulness delivering the content took over as never before. In other words, my voice acting improved. It took on a new timbre and now a new purpose — that of appreciating what I do more than ever before.
Will it be noticed? I hope so. Because in my mind I was suddenly up on a stage story-telling through my performance in an entirely new way. During my raw recording I experimented with phrasing repeatedly so that when I went back to edit the audible manuscript, I could choose from among the versions I laid out. I am in the middle of that process now, anticipating getting it all sent off soon.
The upshot? Tragedy in one’s life can sometimes lead to a new reality beyond the event itself. The deepening of human understanding that comes as a result of it is like seasoning on food. Its intensity makes the flavors better appreciated. Revelations abound. And I continue to grow.